June 18, 2025 

Reclaiming Agency—Even When You’re Just Paying Bills 

The Moment That Shook Me 

Time: Around 8 p.m. Date: December 2022 -I’m sitting on the couch, minding my own business when my husband (Esau❤️ ) looks at me and says, “You know it’s time right?” 

Me: “Time for what?” Esau: “It’s time for you to start your own financial planning firm.” 

Hold up—who just drops that on somebody while they’re trying to watch their show? I digress. 

For a minute, I couldn’t catch my breath. I real-talk almost cried—not because I was upset or shocked, but because I knew it was the truth. I felt like some part of me that had been waiting for a really long time finally got called forward. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the truth in a way that shakes something loose in you—that kind of gut-punch clarity that feels both terrifying and exciting… yeah, that. 

It’s crazy how fast a moment like that can move from conversation to life change. 

The Leap—and the Reality 

Fast forward to 1/1/2023: With excitement—and a bit of delusion (like every great entrepreneur has)—I jumped in. 

Did we have savings? Yes. Were we prepared? I think so… But that decision still led to one of the most difficult financial transitions of our lives. THANK YOU, ESAU. 

Starting TrueWealth Solutions meant taking a serious pay cut. And I don’t mean a “no more nail salon” kind of pay cut. I mean a “should we have a garage sale this weekend?” kind of pay cut. It was real. And yes—we had a budget. But I couldn’t stomach going over the numbers. I just couldn’t get used to the deficit. Even though we had savings, every time I had to dip into it, it felt like the air got knocked out of me. 

There’s this belief that if you’re good with money, you won’t feel moments like this. But that’s not true. Sometimes the math makes sense—and still, it aches. 💔

When Just Paying Bills Feels Like a Losing Game

It’s a feeling many people know well: When your financial reality starts to overwhelm your sense of control, it’s easy to think, What’s the point of tracking spending if I’m just paying bills? If you’re not building, saving, or getting ahead, the whole thing can feel like a moot point—just more emotional weight with no payoff. 

If that’s you, I promise—you’re not the only one who’s felt this way. 

I remember one of my early clients was in a similar place. She was cutting back on everything—outings with friends, vacations, even small pleasures that used to make her feel like herself. She said it felt like she was stuck in a version of adulthood where joy had been indefinitely postponed. 

Disruption or Interruption? 

At first, she kept calling it a “disruption.” And I understood that. But midway through our eight-week engagement, she paused and said something I’ll never forget: 

“I realize this doesn’t have to cause disruption. It can be an interruption—and just for this season.” 

That shift changed everything. 

A disruption feels like destruction—like something’s been broken or lost. But an interruption? That’s just a pause. A detour. It means something else is still possible. That you’re still in motion. 

And that’s where the agency starts to return. 

What Agency Really Means 

Agency is the belief—and the felt experience—that you still have the ability to make choices. 

Not just when everything’s going well. Especially when things aren’t. 

It’s the quiet power to decide how you’ll respond, even if you can’t control what’s happening. 

And when people are under financial stress, agency is usually the first thing to go. It gets buried under fear, guilt, shame, and survival mode. 

And when that happens, everything starts to feel like it’s just happening to you. 

But when you begin to reclaim your agency—even a little bit—you shift from reacting to responding. You start making decisions, not just sacrifices. You stop chasing financial perfection, and start creating stability from where you actually are. 

The Small Wins That Matter 

For my client, reclaiming agency meant: – Having honest, age-appropriate conversations with their children about why things were changing – Choosing which expenses to cut, rather than letting the pressure decide – Giving herself credit for the courage it took to live on less, without giving up on herself. 

Agency doesn’t require a surplus. It just requires that you see yourself as a person who still gets to choose—how to respond, what to prioritize, and how to care for yourself through it all. 

Your Power Isn’t Gone 

What shifts if you start seeing your current situation not as something happening to you—but something you still have power within? 

What if power isn’t found in loathing hard choices—but in making them with intention? 

Where We’re Headed Next 

In the final article, we’ll look at what comes after you get the numbers in order—how budgeting becomes the groundwork for your vision, not the ceiling. Because this isn’t just about managing money. It’s about building a foundation strong enough to carry what comes next.